How to Profess Your Tip

[Disclaimer. I am Not Racist. I love all races and I have enjoyed all cultures common to the American South; French, Mexican, Cajun, African American, Caucasian American, some Asian, and I Don't discriminate against a table or customer based on Race. Unfortunately there are several Cultural Norms that play into estimating your tip.]

Honestly, the biggest clue to your table's gratuity before you even put the check down are actually visible on the table. Smiling, happy people that say the magic words (please and thank you) are far more likely to hit the 15-20% mark. Inspiring laughter at your table is always a money maker. Where food is involved, all people are concerned. We all have to eat, and somehow the behemoth evolved the way it did. You are very much a salesperson. In many places the gratuity for an enjoyable dinner is 20%. A mediocre dinner often recieves 15%. Poor service recieves 5-10% depending on what was lacking. Everyone gives poor service, they just don't normally realize when they do. Managers, trainers, and highly experienced servers know when bad service is rendered.

Now back to the disclaimer. I love black women. I think they are beautiful, gifted and strong women that have an admirable history behind them. But of the 3 times I've ever been stiffed on a tip, 2 of them were middle aged richly dressed black women whom I gave my standard working order service that draws an average of 18 percent gratuity. I justify them in my mind as not knowing that I am only making $2.13 an hour and honestly don't give a damn they need more pink lemonade or a grape vodka sour, I just want to get paid. (The third was a 12 top of Mexican men that didn't speak english, before I learned Spanish. I learned Spanish just to get paid. Does this illustrate my point of how much I want to get paid? Get paid.. Get Paid.. Get Paid.. Always Tip your Servers! And the hostess if she's cute.)

So now we can put together a matrix in our minds with three dimensions; Service Rendered (a) Table Attitude (b) and cultural background (c). With this we can create a three dimensional map of where, predictably, we can expect the gratuity percentage to land. So Just so you can build it in your mind...

...Poor service rendered (a), Nonenglish speaking grumpy vegetarians (b), Bigamist Muslims from Iraq (c)... are going to stiff you. Point D, the tip equals 0.

...Awesome Service (a), Steak ordering, joking drinkers (b), Native language speaking foreigners with cultural familiarity (c)... (D) Real Life Scenario, I had 14 of them at one table ran a $800 tab, I got $350 as a tip.

Everyone's matrix is going to vary. It is most wise to build your strengths to shift your service to make the common clientèle at the top of this matrix. If all that comes into your restaraunt are locals, get to know them. Treat them as friends, know what they like to eat and drink. Spend less time socializing with co-workers and more time socializing with your local regulars.

Some people get the wrong idea about tipping servers sometimes. The fact that so many college students only wait tables to turn around and burn it at the bar I think contributes a lot. But when I made that $350 I turned around paid part of my rent, car payment, electric bill, and went grocery shopping. I don't get a check at the end of 2 weeks. I loose my checks to taxes, and often just get a little proof of income and a voided check, perforated ready to run to the bank with. So I have to depend on nights like that where I either turn the volume and give mediocre service for 15%, or stagger my spender tables and wow them with drinks and appetizers and dessert. Its all just in the science of knowing how to serve tables.